Football Final Four: NFL Edition


So we’ve made it to January football. 4 teams and 3 games left to go (4 if you include the Pro Bowl, but no one cares about that game; furthermore, if you bet the Pro Bowl, you my friend have a gambling problem). I like to bet, I always have been pretty successful with bets because I stick to what I KNOW. I don’t bet Olympic Curling, or Women’s Soccer, but, when it comes to Football, Basketball, and Baseball; I like to think I know what I’m doing. Let’s get into these games.

(Lines taken from, and are subject to change)

Green Bay @ Seattle -7.5, o/u 46

My gut says Green Bay to WIN is the payoff pick to click, but for the sake of others, I’ll beak it down. The key for me here: the opening numbers on this game, Sea -7, o/u 47. As a bettor, that should tell you the public is betting the Under and Seattle HEAVILY. Vegas doesn’t lose, the public loses, so my money will move to GB here. This A-Rod injury, idk, I think they are pulling our leg…get it? Yeah, so my picks are better than my jokes. I’m going moneyline on Green Bay personally, but if I HAD to pick, I’d say def take the points on GB, and the Over feels good too.

Indianapolis @ New England -6, o/u 53.5

This one is a tough call. I really feel like New England wins the game, but possibly in OT, or by a field goal. Indy is scrappy, and can score quickly. New England is, well, New England. With under a minute left I don’t know who else better than Brady to be under center. I probably would not bet this game with my own money to be honest, and if I did, I’d be checking the lines hourly to try to get a value bet, and bet it cheap. I hate these numbers for this game because I feel Vegas did too good of a job making them, I’m avoiding this game like the herpes, but if I had to pick: Indy +6 and the Over.

Clearly, I’m going to be glued to the couch on championship Sunday. Have fun, be safe, and enjoy the games; good luck if you’re tossing some cash around.


(Note: This is intended as advice, for entertainment purposes, you are responsible for your own decisions after reading)

Ho, Ho, Hold Up – Shopping Tips for the Average Joe

Gift advice from a lady, about shopping for your lady.

Norelle Valentina – @arsenicnglamour

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If you’re in a relationship, you know that Christmas can be one of the most stressful times of the year. As if gift giving wasn’t hard enough the rest of the year, a holiday really raises the expectations and adds to the pressure. If there is anyone harder to please than your mother, it’s your significant other. Whether she says it or not, she’s expecting something nice and thoughtful. No matter how “down to earth” or “not like other girls” your chick is, you can guarantee when it comes to what’s under the tree, she is quite basic. Before you dump her for the holidays, take a deep breath and check out these helpful tips.

The Catch 22: “You don’t have to get me anything.”

This is a trap, do NOT fall for it. No girl has ever said this phrase and expected nothing on Christmas. If you get her nothing, you will also be getting nothing for a long time. Capiche? This is our way of testing you on how well you know us. What do I mean by this? We don’t want to spell it out for you and seem demanding; we’d rather just torture you by making you come up with something on your own.

If you get her nothing, you’re dead, but if you get her something she hates, you are also screwed because then she’ll think you don’t even know her. The best way to overcome this holiday disaster is to get her something that directly ties into a hobby she has. Does she like to draw? Listen to music? Watch old movies? Is she into sneakers? (Bonus points for you if you get a matching pair). Find something you think she would buy for herself, and then hang on to the gift receipt.

If you can’t think of a single hobby your chick has, you probably shouldn’t be dating. When in doubt, go with a Victoria’s Secret gift card. There is no downside to that solution. Give it to her with a little card that says something like “Let’s pick out something sexy” with a little winky face and not only will she think you’re so thoughtful and attentive, but you’ll get to see her in something sheer. That is the definition of a win-win fellas.

If the relationship just started a few weeks ago, keep the gift(s) small. This doesn’t necessarily represent every woman out there, but if you spend too much money or buy her too many things she will A) feel guilty she only got you one thing or B) she’ll think you’re obsessed. However, more is better than nothing. What should you take away from this? Don’t come home empty handed and when in doubt, ask her mom NOT her friends.

How Much Should You Spend?

This is a tough one because it depends on how long you’ve been together and how well off you are. Lavish gifts the first few weeks or months you two have been together can set the stage for a very expensive relationship. If you buy her a new TV on the first Christmas she’s going to expect gifts that large for the rest of the relationship. If you don’t deliver then she’ll feel slighted when they’re anything but extravagant.

However, if you get her something cheap or small for the first holiday together she’ll think it doesn’t mean anything to you. I know, we’re complicated. Now, if you’ve been together for a few years holidays should be pretty routine for you by now and you should be able to determine what she will expect. Although knowing your girl well enough to shop with ease is a plus, getting her the same sort of gifts every year will start to bore her. It’s good to keep a little surprise in your relationship so it doesn’t get dry.

If you always get her clothes or jewelry, try taking her out for a nice dinner or a couples’ massage. Doing something together will be the best part of the gift for her I assure you. The most important thing to remember is: don’t go out of your way to try and impress her.

If you can’t afford it then don’t get it. Any decent woman would slap you in the back of the head for opening up a line of credit just for a holiday. Bonus We love cards. Write her a sappy little love letter and what ever you get her will be twice as good.

Jewelry Dos and Don’ts: Proceed With Caution

If I could only give you one piece of advice it would be to carefully consider buying jewelry for your lady. This rings exceptionally true for new relationships. If you have your heart set on buying your new girl some jewelry for Christmas than heed my words: start as far aware from the finger as possible.

Earrings and necklaces are the best way to go when it comes to jewelry. A small pair of diamonds (not too small, if you can’t at least get half a karat why the hell are you buying jewelry anyway? And don’t even get me started on cubic zirconia. I don’t care how stupid your girl might be, one of her friends will know that’s glass sugar) or a gemstone necklace is an appropriate gift for a relationship that has been going on 6 months or more. Side note: unless you can afford to buy her a tennis bracelet, don’t waste your time with wrist bling. Bracelets are something a girl gets as a gift for being a bridesmaid or from her father.

Now, let me repeat myself, 6 MONTHS OR MORE. Do not buy some chick you just hooked up with jewelry unless you’re also willing to toss a few hundred dollars out the window on the interstate. Buying a nice piece of jewelry is a big deal and you’re kidding yourself if you think women (and their friends) don’t over analyze any jewelry gift. If you’re not serious about her, giving her jewelry will only get her hopes up.

When it comes to jewelry it might seem like there are more don’ts than dos, but truthfully there is only one big don’t you need to steer clear of. Do NOT under any circumstances buy a girl a ring. Do. Not. Whether it’s a pearl, a gemstone, or even a tiny diamond, you will not be able to pass a ring off as just a gift.

There is something in our DNA that doesn’t allow us to see any ring given to us by a man, as anything other than an engagement ring. It doesn’t matter if you got it out of a gumball machine a little voice in our head keeps telling us you’ll exchange it for a gorgeous 2 karat princess cut one day!

The only time you should consider buying a ring for a woman (that you have hopefully been with for a long time) is if you want to marry her. The end. No exceptions. Engagement jewelry is not something to jump in to either. Save up, ask her family, and then buy the best ring you can afford with out going hungry. We hate to admit it, but when it comes to engagement rings, size does matter.

I hope this helped you gentleman out for this Christmas and future celebrations. As complicated as us women can be, know that a good woman will love what ever you get her, because she loves you most of all. But seriously, remember to take off the price tags and don’t regift us stuff from your ex!